anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
