I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
