don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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