I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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