I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
