Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
