remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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