I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
