OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
