U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
