you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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