piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
