I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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