Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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