Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
