Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
