I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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