Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
