My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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