A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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