he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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