Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
