Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
