woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
