I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
