hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I smell stomach acid.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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