just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
