She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
