this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
