I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
