I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
