I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
