think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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