If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
