someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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