he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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