Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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