Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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