My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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