what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
