4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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