we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
