how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
