wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
