he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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