He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
