Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
