I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
