im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
