idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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