Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
